We stood together you and I, discussing the journey about to begin,
one fraught with danger and with sin.
A journey of life laid out in my book, would I go do this with the courage it took?
Jesus showed me the traps, the hardships and pain.
He looked in my eyes, I felt the strength that I gained.
He showed me my purpose to embrace in my life.
He showed me the victory over the strife.
Emboldened and strong, I agreed to it all
and then I arrived so very small.
The world was too loud and harsh in my ears
blinding bright light that brought me to tears.
I knew there was someone bigger than me
whose eyes I longed for and I wanted to see.
To hold me and love me and keep me safe,
while I learn to find my way in this place.
Feeling lost and alone I thought to myself,
I can trust no one because no one will help.
I fought for life I thrust and I cried
at the injustice of life, I thought that He lied.
“He has left you alone,” came into my mind,
“The God that you trusted is not being so kind.”
Betrayed and rejected and fighting for life,
I vowed I would handle all of this strife.
I strengthened myself with anger and rage
the injustice of life grew with my age.
Too angry too broken too messed up inside,
you have to conform they all said with pride.
Scripture used as a hammer, to straighten me up
left me broken and bleeding, a bitter cup.
A glimmer of hope broke into my world
a thought, a remembrance that made my mind swirl.
A glimpse of me standing, there with my God
discussing my life and it didn’t seem odd.
I’ve seen that before I knew deep inside
I asked him to help me, discarded my pride.
I said I was sorry for thinking He lied and
I felt the shift rising from deep down inside.
I felt the veil lift and started to cry.
Tears for years wasted without asking why.
He said, “I will help you get back what was lost
after all child I have paid the cost.”